Head of Attention Seeking
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I’d like to attribute my success to being a good boy. My day starts at 5am, where I start by taking a nap from 5:05am -> 9am. A healthy breakfast & a short stroll before I begin work supervising the inside of my eyelids. I expect my colleagues to be very hands-on (belly & butt scratches in particular). I excel at opening doors during interviews & I like to keep my colleagues on their toes by squeaking my toys during company meetings.

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Well they neeed to pull their finger out and get some articles written!